Failing in Marriage!

Dear friend,

I'm writing to encourage you about your marriage. I don't know exactly what you are going through. What I know is you are hurting and thinking of a solution. You got married to your spouse and had lots of expectations that are not realistic. You must have asked yourself this question, how did I end up with this person?


You see, every married person at some point find themselves asking that exact question.

I know you are hurting because I used to hurt like you. Yes, I did not know what to expect when I first got married. Maybe because I really did not date my husband for long. Yes, after just six months of talking and dating long distance we we decided to marry. 

I don't know about your dating or not dating before marriage. But listen to this truth, you don't need to date someone to marry them. You will never fully know a person enough to marry them.

Yes, the world has gotten it wrong. Maybe you have heard of bible stories about God telling his beloved who to marry. He was right at this. You just don't marry anyone especially if you are born again in Christ. It won't work except you get divine intervention, or you choose to mask your troubles. Do not get unevenly yoked with unbelievers please.

For the unbelievers it really does not matter. Just pick one and marry.

This is what I want you to know. God loves marriage. He created and blessed the first marriage. He wants you to have a good marriage. 




Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:12 NIV)


God wants to show the world what unconditional love is all about in marriage. The vow you made is with God not with your spouse. You can't do marriage on your own. Let the God of love teach you how to love in your situation.

Those feelings you are having is not love. Love is not a feeling and you need to know that. Love is an action and love comes from God. This means only God is love. Your spouse becomes lovable when they demonstrate the love of God living inside of them (if they have Christ in them) through their actions.

You may be wondering what has changed since you got married. It is your attitude towards your spouse because of hurt emotions. The only one person you can change in marriage is you. Change your actions/attitude towards your spouse and watch your marriage change.

Change has to come from the love of Christ from within. Work on yourself so that, your spouse maybe attracted towards your unconditional love. 

Bless your spouse and not curse them. You are one in Christ. Rebuking them is rebuking you. You can rebuke the enemy in them by speaking directly to the enemy.

I could write pages about how God restored my marriage. He can restore yours but you will need to invite him in. He is gentle in spirit and abiding in love. Tell him you need help. You have tried on your own and failed. 

Why not try marriage Jesus' way before you get a divorce. Just ask God to reveal himself to you. Trust me he will show up. He will instruct your heart and counsel you. He will bring the right people to your path. You will rest in his ever lasting arms of love. 

You will realize that your spouse was not meant to make you happy. Happiness comes from the joy of The Lord.

This joy from The Lord is what you need. It is eternal. You serve your spouse from the overflow of eternal joy within your heart.

God wants your marriage to be a light of unconditional love in this dark world. For this to happen, you have to activate the voice of the Holy Spirit in your life. He speaks life and not death.

It is impossible to love your spouse unconditionally without the love of Christ.

“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”
I John 4:7-11 NKJV



You are loved by God,
From a compassionate heart bleeding with the love of God.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

42 and Pregnant! Yes! Glory Alleluia!

Image
  Hello there, It’s been a while!   How are you doing? I pray this finds you in good health and a happy state of mind. If not, cast all your cares to Jesus, he wants you to do life with him. It’s been a while since I wrote on this blog. A lot has happened since the last time we communicated. We all went through the pandemic. What a crazy season that was. I was talking to my husband the other day and truly felt God gave us a jubilee year(a year of rest), to restate and refocus. What the enemy meant for evil God turned it for good. I know many of us lost loved ones which is very disheartening. May the memories with them always bring us joy when we think of them. They are gone but never forgotten. They’ve become our cloud of witnesses if they died in Christ right? In my last communication with you I shared about the behind the scenes of every picture. What we see is really not what may be going on although pictures are worth a thousand words. If you did not read that post I encou...
Read more

How I met Prince Charming!

Image
Everyone has a story of how they met their Prince Charming. Yours maybe be more exciting than others. Or maybe, more awkward than others. Well, let me give you a chance to make the judgment in my situation. January 2007 was when it all started in South Bend Indiana. For those of you who don't know, January is the coldest, snowiest month of the year with icy roads. As the weather forecaster always says, "if you have no reason to be outside, stay indoors." For several years, I made it a habit to journal  important events in my life . Specifically, to look back with a thankful heart and see what lies ahead of me.                                   (we are no ordinary couple, we have a supernatural deliverer, Jesus Christ.)   January 30th is a big deal in my little world. As I sat alone in my empty apartment, I could hear the echo's of my breath. Usually, waiting to receive a call f...
Read more

A Mother's Bond

The connection we have with our children  is very powerful. The bond can not be broken. It is a love like no other. A love that speaks from the heart with a very powerful intuition. God made us carry them in our bodies for almost 10 months. This pregnancy process is a bonding mystery. Feeling the baby move and it can actually respond when you talk to them. I remember my babies giving me kicks of assurance when I asked if they are ok in there. What a magical feeling it is. The bonding continuous as we hear the first cry that pierces our hearts, nursing them, waking up at night and going through days with very limited sleep. Stirring at them to see if we'll see a body part actuall grow instantly. All the smiles and crying only builds up a stronger bond etc. We get soo attached to them that even leaving them home with our husbands is scary. Yet, we have to trust God and pray that we meet them alive when we return. I realized that this mother child bond is the same way God wants us to ...
Read more