Anniversary Complications!


This post is for all my immigrant friends living in foreign lands.

Know that it is not by chance that you are where you are at this moment. God brought you this far and He will see you through no matter what you are going through. Make the land your own, arise and shine beyond your complications.

"Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you."(Isaiah 60:1 NIV)

 Keep seeking Him daily in prayers and meditations. Tell him all your struggles and complications. Bring all your secrets to him for he knows already. 

"would not God have discovered it, since he knows the secrets of the heart? "(Psalm 44:21 NIV)

As immigrants certain questions can only be answered with, "it is complicated to explain". We often don't know where to start and rather not answer such questions.

If you are like me, I really don't have a perfect answer to the question; when is your wedding anniversary?

The reason is clear and simple " it is complicated".

Where do I start to explain? That my culture has several occasions for the marriage process. Matters are even made worst when you live in a foreign land and can't do things right due to several reason.

The fear of being judged by others who are just inquisitive and want to know a little more about you. 

All you can say is " it is complicated". 

Complicated because a dowry has to be paid before a court signing and then a church wedding to follow in some cases.

Complicated because a dowry can be considered a traditional wedding in your absence if you are out of the country. In most cases once a dowry is paid you are considered married if done rightly. Seeing all the family members can take years which is why most people now consider this traditional marriage.

Complicated because if you are in a foreign country, it can take another year before you finally make it to court and couple of years before you make your way to the altar.

Complicated because you want to do it right like the people in your new culture( country) but you have so many strings attached. 

Complicated because you wanted to do a wedding with your family but you can't because your family won't be around. So you went privately and signed it in court without telling anyone.

Complicated because you divorced your spouse and remarry him on a different date, after figuring he/she is a better mess to deal with.( you know in this condition)

All these occasions have different dates and several years apart as your anniversary dates.

Complicated because you want to celebrate your years together but your spouse says where I'm from we don't celebrate. Now you are trying to be like one of these people.


Pick a date in the list of dates and celebrate your journey and struggles together. 

You can even celebrate every date to remember how far God has brought you.

Make it less complicated as you celebrate your anniversary. God knows how complicated and imperfect life is.

It is ok not to be perfect in the physical because no one is anyways. God looks at our spirit man, the born again part in us. Our spirit man is as perfect as that of Christ the moment accept him as Lord and Savior. Only our Heavenly Father wants us to take refuge in him.

As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him. (Psalm 18:30 NIV)

Happy Anniversary!! 




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

42 and Pregnant! Yes! Glory Alleluia!

Image
  Hello there, It’s been a while!   How are you doing? I pray this finds you in good health and a happy state of mind. If not, cast all your cares to Jesus, he wants you to do life with him. It’s been a while since I wrote on this blog. A lot has happened since the last time we communicated. We all went through the pandemic. What a crazy season that was. I was talking to my husband the other day and truly felt God gave us a jubilee year(a year of rest), to restate and refocus. What the enemy meant for evil God turned it for good. I know many of us lost loved ones which is very disheartening. May the memories with them always bring us joy when we think of them. They are gone but never forgotten. They’ve become our cloud of witnesses if they died in Christ right? In my last communication with you I shared about the behind the scenes of every picture. What we see is really not what may be going on although pictures are worth a thousand words. If you did not read that post I encou...
Read more

How I met Prince Charming!

Image
Everyone has a story of how they met their Prince Charming. Yours maybe be more exciting than others. Or maybe, more awkward than others. Well, let me give you a chance to make the judgment in my situation. January 2007 was when it all started in South Bend Indiana. For those of you who don't know, January is the coldest, snowiest month of the year with icy roads. As the weather forecaster always says, "if you have no reason to be outside, stay indoors." For several years, I made it a habit to journal  important events in my life . Specifically, to look back with a thankful heart and see what lies ahead of me.                                   (we are no ordinary couple, we have a supernatural deliverer, Jesus Christ.)   January 30th is a big deal in my little world. As I sat alone in my empty apartment, I could hear the echo's of my breath. Usually, waiting to receive a call f...
Read more

A Mother's Bond

The connection we have with our children  is very powerful. The bond can not be broken. It is a love like no other. A love that speaks from the heart with a very powerful intuition. God made us carry them in our bodies for almost 10 months. This pregnancy process is a bonding mystery. Feeling the baby move and it can actually respond when you talk to them. I remember my babies giving me kicks of assurance when I asked if they are ok in there. What a magical feeling it is. The bonding continuous as we hear the first cry that pierces our hearts, nursing them, waking up at night and going through days with very limited sleep. Stirring at them to see if we'll see a body part actuall grow instantly. All the smiles and crying only builds up a stronger bond etc. We get soo attached to them that even leaving them home with our husbands is scary. Yet, we have to trust God and pray that we meet them alive when we return. I realized that this mother child bond is the same way God wants us to ...
Read more