God turns our marriage mess into a marriage ministry!

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? (Ecclesiastes 4:9-11 NIV)

My marriage journey has been the most challenging so far in my life. Yet God has changed me in so many ways. I've learned and accepted that the only way out to a successful marriage is putting God first. He knows our mess already so why hide them from him.

One thing I told my husband a lot when we first got married was I'm not perfect. He did not understand why I repeatedly told him this when he pointed at my imperfections. On the contrary his job as a physician had taught him to be perfect. What a mess for perfection to meet imperfection.

We struggled and clashed a lot about our differences. Things even got worse because our messy family backgrounds had lots of hurts.

Every family has its problems so you are not alone :-)

What helped us survive our mess was surrendering our marriage to God. We sorted counseling from a pastor when I almost quit. My parents encouraged me to stay and God placed women in my life to help me.

I prayed for my husband and for God to change his heart towards my imperfections. Also, to open his eyes to see that he is even a bigger mess for marrying a messy me.

God answered this request when our pastor had a six week sermon about how everyone is imperfect.

As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord ’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him. (Psalm 18:30 NIV)

 Only God is perfect and so long as we are on earth we are not perfect. Perfection will come when we gain eternal life with Christ.

We learned to pray together as a couple and to rely on God each day to help each other become a better mess. A mess that loves and appreciates another mess made perfect by marriage.

What we struggled with the most was, we started out with unrealistic expectations. Stop dreaming about the perfect spouse to marry, for you are on earth. Once you realize and accept that you are a mess your expectations will reduce.

Marriage brings out the best and worst of each other. Which is what makes it beautiful. Beautiful because you build each other up.

Premarital counseling helps you understand that you will have to deal with both messes without killing each other.

 Marriage is made perfect when you both can work through the tough stuff together, healing each other's wounds through the power of the Holy Spirit in us.

Marriage is a covenant relationship with God and not a contract that can be destroyed as the present culture says. Marriage is between a man and a woman. That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24 NIV)

Divorce is not a solution when you think you can't  put up with your mess and that of your spouse. You will end up marrying another hell of a mess. So why not stay with the mess you already know and seek help.

Jesus Christ is the solution and fixer of our mess. He fixed mine and he can fix yours if you put him first. 

I learned about the triangle of marriage. We are so distant when we marry. Over time, we become better and know each other more with God at top.

Be honest and open about your mess to young couples without destroying your spouse. Let them see past the perfect family portrait. 

Behind every perfect portrait is a mess that can be fixed by God. “I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me? (Jeremiah 32:27 NIV)

 God turns our marriage messes into a marriage ministry.